Look, I swear I’ve been resisting this. But when I learned there’s actually a popular blog kept by a golden retriever named Max, what was I to do — remain mute?
Max calls his blog, Max the Golden Retriever. (Ooooh, how original!) Aside from the blog, he’s also got a Newsletter — or, as he himself breathlessly announces: “Yep, that’s right… I have my very own newsletter.” Apparently Max thinks he’s superior to those poor schnooks Addison and Steele, who had to share theirs.
But there’s something fishy about Max’s blog.
First of all, wouldn’t you expect a real adult golden retriever, one ostensibly male, to say “Yup” instead of a lame “Yep”?
Second, why does Max’s home page feature only one photo of him — and a blah looking photo at that? Not quite ready for Hollywood, are we, Max?
Third, where are the links to Max’s YouTube videos? Oh, there aren’t any? Hmmm. Not ready for direct-to-video either, Eh?
You want handsome? I’ll give you handsome. You want a leader who brings a crowd to attention, a smile-spreading smiler, a retrieving golden retriever, a dog poetically searching beyond the horizon, a YouTube star? I’ll give you all that too. Ladies and gentlemen, Jesse the Golden Retriever:
Jesse is featured in 28 short videos on YouTube, most 30 seconds or less, showing his antics from puppy to adulthood. A link to the entire video list is here. In total, these have been watched over a million times.
Jesse is my golden retriever.
(Move over, Max.)