At breakfast this morning, while munching my Cheerios, I came across a head-scratcher of a sentence on page 53 of the August 24, 2009 issue of The New Yorker. It’s in an article written by Tad Friend entitled, “Plugged In — Can Elon Musk Lead the Way to an Electric-Car Future?”:
In 2004, Musk, who was interested in developing an electric car, met an engineer named Martin Eberhard, proposed to build a sports car with a lithium-ion battery.
If I understand it correctly, it was Mr. Eberhard (not Musk) who proposed to build a car powered by a lithium-ion battery. So doesn’t there need to be another “who” in there to form a grammatically correct sentence?
In 2004, Musk, who was interested in developing an electric car, met an engineer named Martin Eberhard, who proposed to build a sports car with a lithium-ion battery.
It may be that’s how the sentence read when Mr. Friend submitted the piece to the magazine. Maybe his editor, or later the proofreader, disliked those two “who’s” in the same sentence. Fixes were debated. But wouldn’t you know it, implementing a one-“who” solution was tolled by a deadline.
If I may offer a two-sentence solution:
Musk was interested in developing an electric car. In 2004, he met an engineer named Martin Eberhard who proposed to build a sports car with a lithium-ion battery.
I don’t know if that satisfies the rhythm The New Yorker goes for. It would pass muster with high school English teachers. Then again, it’s August, and English teachers are on vacation. Maybe editors too.
Tags: 2009, August 24, battery, electric car, Elon Musk, lithium-ion, Martin Eberhard, Model S, Plugged In, Roadster, Tad Frienc, Tesla, The New Yorker, Volt